From that height you could barely see the people or the history – you could just see the geography and that felt more comforting. I finished my poo.
I might have mentioned this before but for an occupation that mostly involves sitting in a chair* it’s amazing how much vertigo I get when I’m attempting to write fiction. I think it’s because within the space of two sentences you can go from feeling a colossal, world-beating confidence to knowing nothing but the terror of the truly fraudulent. That’s the sort of 60-0 that pulls a few Gs.
Interestingly, I read an interview with the excellent David Nicholls who said that his terror of writing has never left him, even after significantly knocking it out of the park on a number of occasions (Starter for Ten aside, which I always felt was a bit puerile, and I like puerile). What a ridiculous profession for anyone to choose. I suppose it adds credence to the idea that writing is something you feel you have to do, rather than something you opt for.
I’ve had to grind out the work this week. I’ve had no energy maybe because of the heat and as the last vestiges of the anaesthetic and antibiotics work through my system. On Wednesday, I think the most I achieved was to look at a wall. On the rest of the days I still got chapters banked though and we now have another four chapters of Shut In done and dusted. Given that one of them includes the quotation I started this post with, there’s some evidence of the quality, or lack thereof. Still, as the recurring theme of David Nicholls, tweeted this very week:
“IT’S ONLY A FIRST DRAFT.”
Don’t whinge. You’re not going down the mine or into battle.
*fwiw I mostly write at a standing desk I cobbled together myself, here it is:
The white bowl on the right is a sound bowl. When you strike it with the little cushioned hammer it came with, it sounds out an F. You can also wear it on your head and beat it and experience washing your mind in F, although it’s slightly muffled by the fact that your head is in contact with the bowl. If you really wanted to do it properly you could get some of those anti-gravity boots and then bang the bowl and lower your head into it, without touching the sides.
I’m going to stop writing now.